- Why It's Never Really OK To Date Your Boss
- How to Ask Your Female Boss Out
- OK, there are some exceptions, but one of you might have to resign.
- Why It's Never Really OK To Date Your Boss | HuffPost Australia
- Dating your boss...
I'm just going by myself. Look and feel your best that day. If you know your coworker is single and you've decided to ask him or her out, you should make sure you look your best and feel confident that day. Do something that morning that will either help you relax or get you psyched up, depending on your personality.
You should also make sure you feel confident by dressing for success. Just make sure that outfit is appropriate for the workplace. Consider getting a haircut a few days before you decide to ask your coworker out.
That way you'll look freshly-groomed and you'll make a good impression. Make sure you shower, and wear deodorant and clean clothes that day.
Spend a little extra time grooming yourself so that your hair, facial hair if you have any , and makeup if you wear it are perfect. Check your mouth in the mirror to make sure you don't have any food stuck between your teeth. Rinse with mouthwash or chew a mint shortly before you approach your coworker so that your breath is fresh and minty.
Why It's Never Really OK To Date Your Boss
Approach your coworker in a comfortable place. Where and how you ask your coworker out are very important factors to consider. Even if your coworker is interested in you, he or she may have doubts or insecurities about approaching you, and so asking your coworker out in the wrong place, time, or context could create tension or even animosity. If others are around, your coworker might feel uncomfortable or pressured into saying yes or no.
Choose a comfortable space where you and your coworker will both feel safe. Don't ask your coworker out right outside the bathroom, for example, or in your office if you have one , as these locations can be intimidating or even downright improper for asking someone out. A good place to ask might be a neutral work space, like by the copy machine in an office or when you're both behind the counter if you work in a restaurant.
Make sure your coworker isn't rushing off to do something important, as you'll want his or her full attention for a moment when you ask. As you chat with your coworker, it's important that you act like you normally would.
How to Ask Your Female Boss Out
If you're nervous, your coworker will notice it. And if you try to put on a fake persona, your coworker will definitely be aware of it and will most likely be turned off by it. Just remain calm and be respectful of your coworker at all times. Ask your coworker out on a date. The hardest part is actually asking your coworker out on a date. It can be very intimidating, but remember that you ultimately don't have much to lose.
The worst that could happen is your coworker may politely turn you down, in which case you'll just smile and politely excuse yourself. Be polite and warm when you ask. Don't come across as pushy or needy, and don't act disinterested. Transition smoothly into asking your coworker out. You might say something like, "Well hey, I really enjoyed talking to you.
I'd like to chat more over coffee, if you're free this weekend? When would be a good time? Know when to call it quits. If you've asked your coworker out and he or she is not interested, you'll need to leave it at that. Repeatedly asking a coworker out on a date who's already told you that he or she isn't interested in dating you could be considered a hostile work environment, which may end up getting you fired.
If your coworker says no, be as polite and respectful as possible. Say something to defuse any tension, such as, "No problem. Well, I hope you have a good weekend. Lingering could make things awkward for both of you. Assess whether there is any type of power dynamic.
The main situation in which dating a coworker is a bad idea in fact, really the only reason at many places of employment is if one of you is in a position of power. Dating your boss, manager, or supervisor could get you unfair favors at work.
OK, there are some exceptions, but one of you might have to resign.
Similarly, dating your employee if you're the manager could potentially create a situation where your employee feels pressured to go out with you, and may be uncomfortable or unsafe breaking things off if the relationship isn't working. As long as there is no power dynamic between the two of you, you should be able to safely date one another as long as your place of employment allows it.
Even if you are equals now, there is always a chance that one of you may get promoted in the future. That promotion, which is great for your career, could dramatically alter the nature of your relationship at work. Determine your workplace policy on dating coworkers.
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Many places of employment have specific guidelines, rules, or even prohibitions regarding workplace relationships. Before you take things to the next level, it's important to know whether your employer will allow it, as you don't want to risk one or both of you losing your job. Others may have even stricter policies in place.
Why It's Never Really OK To Date Your Boss | HuffPost Australia
You may need to describe the nature of your new relationship in writing, which may be difficult if you are both still figuring it out and haven't put any "labels" on it yet. Be aware that if your relationship has the potential to affect either of your productivity levels, you could both be fired from the company if the relationship makes your workplace behavior unprofessional.
Check your employer's rule book usually either given to you when you are hired or made available online. Even if your relationship is supposedly "top secret" the truth will eventually crawl out of that hole you're quietly digging for yourselves. People management and leadership expert Karen Gately told The Huffington Post Australia, dating your boss is treading on potentially dangerous territory. If your business is a corporate structure, one of you might need to leave the company," Gately said.
It's also very difficult for the rest of the team, in terms of issues of favouritism or undermining the bosses credibility around maintaining objectivity. You can't really performance manage the person you're sleeping with. International keynote speaker, business and leadership consultant Rowdy McLean told HuffPost Australia the biggest risk when dating your boss is the belief -- whether it's true or not -- that you get special treatment.
In fact, most people that are in a relationship with the boss get treated in a much harsher way by the boss to show there is no favouritism. When I think about it now I'm pretty sure he did it to other women who worked there.
Dating your boss...
It was all consensual but it makes me slightly ill thinking about it. As time went on, my interest just got more and more intense. I did absolutely everything I could to suppress my feelings, but it wasn't very successful when he started showing interest in me, too.
One year after I started, we officially became a couple. For the next year and a half, we kept our relationship tightly hidden.
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I eventually left the company, and the company eventually went belly up. We finally disclosed our relationship when he tried to start a new company with our old coworkers. They were, to say the least, extremely shocked to discover we had managed to keep the secret for so long: Are Your Coworkers Secretly Dating?