- Psychological Reasons Why Women Have Affairs With Married Men | Dating Tips
- Reasons Against Dating A Married Man
- Dating A Married Man: Think Before You Act
And most single men confess they are initially very careful not to appear too interested, lest they find themselves headed for a commitment they're not ready for. The intimacy they share, the illusion he creates, is tremendously mesmerizing. She may perceive it as his commitment, an investment in their relationship. It may feel precious—something to be guarded and protected, nurtured.
But common sense will kick in. For others, the game goes on—informed by these widely held opinions. Infidelity rates are somewhere around 50 percent for men. Right" away from his wife—even if it means taking an increasingly tenuous emotional risk. If women like Susan are very fortunate they'll learn more about the behavioral statistics of men who cheat before they decide to deepen their emotional risk.
In comparison to married men who cheat, the majority of women who enter into affairs with married men report that they do so because they are in love or falling in love with him. There may be a vast disconnect between what Susan is thinking and what this man she thinks is the man of her dreams is thinking. It may be morally or ethically wrong; it just depends who you ask.
But this article is not about judgement. It's simply about understanding our natural tendencies and their origins. If a woman in Susan's position digs deep enough into the infidelity blogs and self-help guides and finds these facts, she may just save herself before he ends the relationship.
And, according to infidelity studies, this will likely happen around year three or four. Maybe his wife is starting to suspect something. But year four seems to be a drop-dead date in the data. Whether she discovers these facts or not, her heart is destined to be broken. Broken relationships lead to broken hearts. However, some data point to the possibility that a broken heart after ending it with a married person can be much more difficult to heal than a broken heart after a more traditional relationship. Dating a married man is fraught with difficulties and heartbreak for not only yourself, but everyone who is affected.
Nonetheless, life is not always cut and dried and you may feel that you have mitigating circumstances that make the situation less concrete. Here are some things to consider if you are dating a married man. The Status of His Marriage. Be careful with this one. The type of man who would have an affair is not necessarily the type of man who will tell the truth about his marriage.
Psychological Reasons Why Women Have Affairs With Married Men | Dating Tips
Do a little digging to find out if what he says is true. However, it is a reality that some couples choose to split for all intents and purposes but remain legally married for reasons ranging from laziness to tax breaks. If he truly has split with his wife all but legally, it is a far different situation than one in which she believes the marriage to be happy and secure. The caveat is that you probably do not have a future with a man who is in this situation. For one reason or another, he is content with the status quo. Unless there is a very specific, time-limited situation that needs to be resolved before his divorce, he may choose to remain married indefinitely.
If you are looking for marriage, you may be better off not dating a married man. Nonetheless, it is harder to ignore your own moral conscience. Most religions have taboos on harming others.
If it is discovered, it may lead to the breakup of a home. Are you able to live with the knowledge that you were part of something that caused suffering of innocent parties? Remember that no matter what he tells you about his wife, your dating a married a man is your choice not hers.
She made a commitment to him, and he to her. If the two of you are truly soul mates, then why not wait until the marriage is truly and officially over? You may be labeled, scorned or even shunned by some in your community. This tends to be truer in small, conservative towns than in the relative anonymity of big cities, but remember that you never know how people are connected. If he is lying to his wife, how can you can be sure that he is being honest with you?
You already know that he is willing to say what he needs to say and do what he needs to do to get what he wants.
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It is very easy for a married man to paint a picture of an evil wife and himself as a hapless victim. He wants you to feel sorry for him and believe his stories.
Reasons Against Dating A Married Man
Give yourself a reality check. If what he says about his wife is true, then he must have extremely poor judgment and taste in women. Not to mention that he must be seriously lacking in backbone to continue to stay with such a woman. However this thrill will in time fade and when it does he may decide you're no longer exciting enough for him and he dumps you. In addition, from your point of view, hiding things will damage your self confidence. You won't get to enjoy the benefits of a full relationship like walking down the street together or going out for drinks with friends at the weekend.
Trust and dating a married man: If you've both got together by him cheating and you helping him, trust can never be formed between you both.
Dating A Married Man: Think Before You Act
In addition, you've both already essentially told each other that cheating is ok in some circumstances. So if he ever cheats on you he has the easy option of just blaming you and saying that you should have known he was a cheater. He's getting a better deal than you: When dating a married man, its important to know most of the benefits lie on his side while you get the rawer deal.
He gets the benefit of a genuine relationship his marriage and can go out with his spouse and hang out with friends together.
At the same time you are providing some of the sexual services that his wife doesn't want to do anymore. In time, most women dating a married man find themselves resenting the advantages the guy has. He holds the power: The fact is that if you disrespect him or treat him badly, it'll be very easy for him to leave you because he has his wives arms to run straight into. You on the other hand have no immediate option available to you, making you that bit more dependent on him.
You may think you have power over him because you could just tell his wife everything, but in reality if there's children involved you probably won't want to do it for their sake.
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Dating a married man can last for years. Therefore, you don't want to find yourself in another couple of years time single again and having to look for someone new. I'm sure you'd like any relationship you enter now to be a long lasting one. If you don't look for a healthier relationship now, you may rue it in a couple of years time when you and this guy finally go your separate ways. In addition, in time you're looks might start letting you down and being able to get a good man may not be as easy as it is now.