- How to Write Your First Online Dating Message | The Soulmates Blog
- Exactly What To Say In A First Message
- There’s more to it than you think
- First Message Strategy #2: Connect On Common Ground
Online dating gives you a bit of an advantage in that you can strategically plan that first message so it hits home with a bit of a punch.
How to Write Your First Online Dating Message | The Soulmates Blog
Unlike an everyday face to face meeting where the words just tumble from your mouth in no apparent order. So why is it that so many guys and girls yes girls too fail miserably in avoiding the move from the Inbox to the trash can?
Extensive research into online dating statistics show that there are some set rules that we all need to follow. Netspeak is the main culprit when it comes to unsuccessful first mails. The words if you can call them that ur, r, u, ya, cant, hit, realy, luv, and wat, are the top nine worst words to use in an opening message.
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Mails that contain these words will get practically no replies proving that intelligence or maybe just good grammar is an attractive trait in both sexes. Surprisingly, though, ha ha and lol were considered ok to use. Perhaps this is because using both these terms shows a sense of humour, another trait many seek in a partner.
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- First Message Strategy #1: Go For Laughs.
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But hehe , while still effective tends to sound a bit like a supervillain. Now it might seem strange to say that after we just told you to use correct grammar, but messages that start off with Hello or Hi come across as run of the mill and perhaps a bit boring.
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So while you should avoid using netspeak too much, using slang or an unusual greeting is considered a great move. Mentioning your religion helps you, but, paradoxically, it helps you most if you have no religion. These are the religious terms that appeared a statistically significant number of times. Atheist actually showed up surprisingly often times per 10, messages, second only to mentions of christian and ahead of for jewish and for muslim.
Exactly What To Say In A First Message
But ideally you should just disbelieve the whole thing. The program then aggregated results by phrase before presenting the data. No one at OkCupid read any actual user messages to compile this post.
Written by Christian Rudder. Sign in Get started. Get updates Get updates. According to Nielsen , activity on both OkCupid and Tinder peaks at 9 pm, and usage starts to rapidly decline after 10 pm.
There’s more to it than you think
On Bumble, the real action starts a little earlier, with activity peaking at 6 pm. And if you happen to find yourself stuck inside due to inclement weather like a blizzard, hurricane or rainstorm, put these first message examples to good use. NBC News did a little investigating, and found that bad weather goes hand in hand with increased activity on dating sites and apps.
In many cases, the increase was pretty dramatic.
First Message Strategy #2: Connect On Common Ground
Send her a light-hearted follow up message like this one:. The more messages you send, the more desperate you look. Women are too smart to fall for them. Not only do copy and paste messages work , but we get incredible results for our clients with them. Other industry experts recognize the wisdom of the copy and paste method as well.
And even if a woman calls you out on sending a template message, so what? And many intelligent women recognize the wisdom of using them, like this one who weighed in on a Quora forum discussion:. Nothing kills your online dating game quicker than being dull.